How to create a memorial space

Tuesday, 8 November 2011 5:29 PM

Losing a loved one is hard and one of the toughest experiences we ever have to go through. Having a place in your own garden where you can go whenever you simply feel like remembering them is a good way of keeping their memory alive and honouring their passing.

Of course, new garden designs may be the furthest thing from your mind immediately after a funeral, but if your relative made the decision to be cremated - which is what the majority of people in the UK do - you have time to really plan and create a special place to scatter their ashes.

Dedicating an area of your own outdoor space to this is perfect, as not only are you guaranteed to be able to go there whenever you want, but you can also do so in peace.

Another key benefit is that, unlike with a public piece of land - where you would require special permission to place anything other than the ashes - you can decorate this part of your garden as you see fit.

Because of this, you can take as much time as you need to create an area that you feel reflects your family member's personality and that does their memory justice.

One of the first team of tradespeople you might like to call is a professional garden designer. This is especially the case if you are keen to get moving with building your memorial space as soon after the funeral as possible, as it is likely to still be a highly emotional time for you when you may find the task particularly hard.

A landscape architect will be able to come up with a few ideas that take into account the size of your outdoor area and you can then select the one you prefer.

If you would rather plan the feature yourself or you have selected the expert suggestions you like most, the next tradespeople to call are memorial masons.

Most people who are buried in cemeteries have a permanent marker inscribed with their details, which allows their memory to live on many years into the future, even once all of their loved ones have passed away too. It is also a place where the younger generations in the family can visit and learn more about them.

You may be keen to create something similar in your memorial garden, either as a marker of where you scattered the ashes or buried the urn.

Local stonemasons are likely to have plenty of experience in creating memorial items such as this and will be able to take your ideas and designs and make them a reality. You could select a simple slab inscribed with your relative's details, or a more ornate statue to stand over the memorial garden.

However, some people choose a different way to mark the resting place of a loved one, such as by planting a tree. You could do this too and still order a stone plaque to place next to it detailing in whose honour the tree was placed there.

Along with these items, there are many other things people like to have featured in a memorial garden. One of the most popular is a bench or chairs, so that you have somewhere to sit and relax whenever you want to. Another is a water feature, whether it's a waterfall or fountain, as this creates a pleasant sound that also blocks out a lot of unwanted noise coming from outside the space.

Next, you can think about what you will plant in your garden. As mentioned before, a tree is a popular option and it can also create shade over the seating area. When selecting flowers, pick your relative's favourites to grow in this place and if they had no particular interest in blooms, select the colours they liked the most instead.

Another interesting idea is to use herbs in pots that create aromas you most associate with your family member, be it because the plant was contained in their favourite dish or if they regularly cooked.

Now you should begin to personalise the space you have created. You could do this by hanging a framed picture on the wall or placing one of their much-loved - and non-perishable - belongings outside, such as a golf club or antique mirror.

Finally, you can take steps to make this part of your garden as private as possible. If space allows, you could contact bricklayers to build a wall around the area, with a gate or arch as an entrance way. However, even if you have limited room you can still section it off, either through a low hedge or carefully arranged pots of plants like bamboo.

You now have a beautiful spot in which to place your love one's ashes and that you can visit whenever you want to feel close to them.
 

Tags:
• garden furniture
,
• gardening
,
• urban gardens